What I learned When I Wasn't Here

  

 

I have done things in life that could have made me afraid, but did not, like the time I held and stroked a cobra. Or when I flipped my Honda, three times (my beloved Accord did not make it, but I was literally unscathed, albeit hanging upside down via my seatbelt, in a ditch). I drank Evian trickled from Steven Tyler’s lips (oh, the things I could have caught!) and hobnobbed with DC politicos. Many times I have moshed in a concrete pit in 100 degree heat with inebriated metal heads. And once, I crossed a busy truck stop to climb aboard a tour bus at 2:00 A.M, in the snow, in Illinois, for the privilege of touching Lucille, and shaking Mr. B.B. King’s hand.

There are also things in life that have, but should not, made me afraid, like a police officer behind me in traffic, even if I am driving two miles below the speed limit and always wear my seatbelt, and haven't had anything alcoholic since July 4th. Or, the phone ringing late at night. Or, the tall, tall, pine outside the bedroom window, outlined in the dark by a midnight lightning storm. Or grocery carts during flu season. Or, clowns...

The point is, typically, when it seems most logical that I would be afraid, I am not. And when I shouldn’t, I might be. And what I learned while I wasn’t here is that there is no rhyme or reason or way to predict much of anything that happens in my life, so there is no reason to fear anything. 

 

   

Fearlessness is defined by Merriam-Webster as “free from fear; brave.” I think what it also means, is living life authentically. I suppose it does require a bit of bravery. Being who I am, minus fear, means letting go of a lot of things I felt defined me, and often confined me: worries about failure, rejection, being judged.

This I believe, unequivocally: Universe never takes when it doesn’t give. And even if I am sure a thing is one way, am thinking it is practically a certainty, it is almost guaranteed to turn out a completely different way; and though I may be more than a little confused, in the end, there is always, always, a certain sense of balance.

I am learning to leap, and not worry about the fall. It is how you land, and the way you enjoyed the flight that matters, n'est ce-pas? Oh, and, speaking of falls….

 

 

Sometimes people use words like “melancholy” and “bittersweet” to describe autumn.  They wax nostalgic about the end of beach days and watermelon and barbeques. Apparently, that’s what happens for at least half the country-folks start chattering about chilly nights and hayrides.

I am quite in love with the world all over again, come Autumn. I feel re-born during this season of change, even if I am still wearing flip flops and a tank top.  Here in the South, fall doesn’t really get underway until somewhere near Thanksgiving, if we are lucky, and a cold front comes through, and decides to stick around. We may get equal parts changing leaves and equal parts withering leaves, right now, but the important thing is we still have football and pumpkin spice lattes. 

So I'm back. Guess you’re stuck with me and my mindless meanderings again. I love you all, glorious Twinklestars!

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~XOXO, Roo~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." ~Audre Lorde

 

 

 

 

Comments

[somepinkflowers]

aahhh...
yes
yes
yes

i see you have been Drinking
up more Wisdom
from the ever~filling cup!

Good
For
You,
Missy!

good for you!

:-)

and this is Oh So True-->
''' Here in the South, fall doesn’t really get underway until somewhere near Thanksgiving '''

but
yesterday
& today
i felt Fall
over here in Northeast Florida...

did you
did you
???

tomorrow it may be
gone

but at least i have had a Promise of it...

~~welcome back,miss Roo, welcome back~~

[Snap]

Welcome back, dear one. So very nice to *see* you! I'm learning something everyday ... about me, about life as it is now ... hoping for some rain (!!!!) and not so much heat (!!!!). Much love and many hugs .......

[Paul Rygiel]

Roo, I love your picture. You don't look a day older than when I knew you in elementary school. Thank you for sharing what is in your heart and on your mind. I would, however, suggest one modification of your dissertation. You said, "I drank Evian trickled from Steven Tyler’s lips (oh, the things I could have caught!) and hobnobbed with DC politicos." I would change that to "I hobnobbed with DC politicos (oh, the things I could have caught!) and drank Evian trickled from Stevem Tyler's lips." Enjoy this beautiful Tallahassee Fall season, the best time of year!

[Laura Irrgang]

Glad to hear you back in higher spirits, you Rooness.
Do I even want to KNOW the Steven Tyler story? I'm surprised you weren't covered with oozing mouth sores in 5 minutes flat.

[rochambeau]

Hello Dearest Rhonda Roo,
Every thing you have to offer inspires me and I like very much, so thank you! Why is it a PO lice driving behind undoes me too? Well, about this time of yeaR? I am A FALL GIRL;;;;>
your twin separated at birth. Spring makes me sad, but Autumn.....AUTUMN makes me come alive with J O Y !!!
I've been holding you in my thoughts, you and your Cowboy.
Love to you and all you care about!
Constance

[Cori G.]

Ruby Roo you are a gem it is true.
Something I learned many many moons ago is that I have not one ounce of control in or around my life. Why heck! I can't even keep my kitchen counter cleaned. So, I take it easy and smile at the mess.
Me thinks it's a wonderful thing that you are back.

I heart you Ruby Roo

[Sheila]

I am so glad you are back. I dropped by to check on you, and I saw this post.

ALWAYS happy to hear your meanderings because YOU are such a special lady.

I hope it's as pretty there as it has been in St. Augustine today. We've had pretty weather... sunshine, balmy breezes, warm, and the ground covered in yellow rain tree blossoms. It's fall in Florida!

Warm hugs sent your way...

XO,

Sheila

[A Forest Frolic]

Oh my dear Roo, I am sorry I'm so late to check in (I haven't been around the bloggy world too much lately), but I did want to check in with you...and I'm so happy you are back, I have missed you soooooo...

I love autumn too, and the chilly nights and pumpkin spice latte's :) And oh my goodness, the fun times you have had, tee hee...yo go girl! I like your outlook Ms. Roo, it makes me happy :)

Lots of smooches and hugs to you,

Jamie :)

[Renee]

Welcome back.

I love autumn, fall, Halloween, how could I not-October is my birth month.

Hmmmm, I wanna hear more about Steven Tyler.

[A Fanciful Twist]

Roo, this was sooo beyond words. I am learning from you. You teach with your gathering of feelings and knowledge. I can't think of the words, to tell you what every thought and word in your post made me feel. But it's deep and magnificent really, and beyond wonderful. You are a star! So brave, so open, so true!

Love love love, V