You know the problem with dancing in the rain?
When you get over 40, it kinda makes you feel like you have to pee.
No, really. It did. Does. And well, I mean, I’m okay with that; it sure isn’t stopping me from getting down with my bad self in the raindrops. It’s just that now, as I’m spontaneously dancing, I’m subconsciously scouting around for a place nearby I can teedle in case of emergency. Or get some hot coffee. Or a hot shower. And dry clothes. Maybe nap.
See, now that I’m a Crone, life is full of tiny little changes I wasn’t expecting.
Yeah, I called myself a Crone. Not to be confused with an irritable bowel disease (Chrohn), or a little hut in the English coutnryside owned by a lawyer (Croan) or even a crown (Krown). I'm referring to the Maiden – Mother - Crone thing.
It used to be (and may still be in some cases), that the crone is relegated to being the, shall we call her “elderly female character” in folklore and fairy tales. In some stories, she is…downright disagreeable. Mean, malicious; sometimes even sinister. Sometimes she has magical or supernatural powers that make her either really helpful or even more evil.
However, the “real” Crone (at least to me) is an archetypal figure- a Wise Woman. Crone has become further recognized as the third aspect of the Triple Goddess, popularized by Robert Graves and subsequently in some forms of neopaganism, particularly in Wicca, in which she symbolizes the Dark Goddess, the dark of the moon.
Or, the end of a cycle.
In New Age and Feminist spiritual circles, a "Croning" is a ritual rite of passage into an era of wisdom, freedom, and personal power. Alright!!
This makes sense to me.
When I was in my teens and 20s, I was on the planet solely to explore the world and explode on the scene and be absolutely fearless and suck up all the experiences I could and dance all night and go back for more. Maiden.
By my late 20s and into my 30s, I was mom – not just to the Lost Boys, but to friends of Lost Boys who found a home at our house, and all manner of plants and pets and other people. The nurturer. Homemaker. Microcosmic family unit. Keeper of secrets and wishes and dreams. Mother.
(Maiden-Mother with Lost Boy on the Left & Lil Sis on the Right, circa bighair bedhead late 80s)
Now here I am in my 40s (I admitted that TWICE people), and my life has changed drastically once again. But instead of thinking it as an abrupt halt and screeching turn into the direction of old and haggard, I think it is phase three, and perhaps the most precious and important to my own sense of self: the children are grown (except my inner child), I find myself mesmerized by the beauty in the mundane; I recognize the gift of loving myself so that I may continue to love others. And maybe, just maybe, I can take the free-spirited self from Maiden, the nurturing traits of Mother me, and add to self discovery and life experiences that bring a little humbled wisdom, and be the best Crone I can be.
(Crone in a Savannah swamp wearing sparkly flipflops, 'cause she's WISE, circa 2013)
What's in your Spiritual wallet, Twinklestars?